Int. Motel Room—Christmas Eve—1991--**Flashback**
We get a close on young Sam as he sleeps, a hand touches his shoulder to wake him up its Dean and he’s quite excited to wake Sam up. Sam just rolls over sleepily, and suddenly his eyes pop open and he bolts from the bed. The room is completely decked out for Christmas—theres a tree, lights, and presents.
Dean exclaims that Dad was here and look at all the stuff he brought. Sam asks again if Dad was there and Dean says yeah, and look at everything they got! They made a killing. Sam asks why Dad didn’t wake him up and Dean tells him that Dad tried like a thousand times, didn’t he tell Sam that Dad would give them a Christmas or what?
With all the presents, Sam can’t really argue and Dean tells him to dive in. Sam goes for the pile, greedily unwrapping a present only to stare at it in confusion. Dean asks what it is and Sam says it’s a Malibu Barbie.
Dean shrugs, and tells Sam that Dad probably thinks he’s a girl. Sam tells him to shut up and Dean tells him to open another one. Sam opens it, only to find a twirling baton complete with colored tassels. He’s beginning to catch onto whats up and knowingly asks Dean that Dad never showed up.
Dean swears again that he did, and Sam just goes on to ask where Dean got all this stuff. After everything, its hard to keep up the lie and Dean reveals that he snagged it from the nice house up the block, but he swears he didn’t know they were chick presents. Sam nods and looks at the baton.
Dean says that he’s sure their Dad would be here if he could and Sam points out –if he’s alive. Dean tells Sam not to say stuff like that and Dad’s alive ‘cause well he’s Dad. Sam thanks Dean for trying and Dean nods a welcome.
Young Sam gets an idea, a life changing relationship altering idea as the sides say lol. He goes get the present he wrapped for Dad and hands it to Dean. He tells Dean to take it and Dean tells him no, because its for Dad.
Sam tells Dean that Dad lied to him, and he wants Dean to have it. Dean asks if his brother is sure, and Sam says that yeah, he’s sure. Dean opens the present, it’s the amulet necklace—he thanks Sam, stating that he loves it.
Dean fastens the necklace around his neck.
Ext. Carrigan House—Day—Present
It’s the most picturesque tiny house you could ever imagine, complete with motorized Santa Clause on the front lawn that waves blankly at the passers-by and a hand painted sign with the family name on the mailbox. Sam and Dean walk up to the front door and Dean asks if this is where Mrs. Wreath lives also making the rhetorical inquiry as to whether Sam can just feel that evil Pagan vibe.
Sam knocks on the front door, and after a moment a forty year old woman, donned in a sweater set and pearls answers the door. Its Madge Carrigan and she comes across as evil as glass of milk, minus the creepy smile that’s massively huge and always plastered on her face.
Dean flashes her a big smile and asks if she’s the Madge Carrigan that makes the Meadowsweet wreaths. Madge says that yeah, that’s her and Dean shoots Sam a cocky look, muttering bingo. Sam steps in and tells Madge that they were just admiring her wreaths in Mr. Siler’s place the other day.
While Sam’s talking, Dean’s peering over Madge’s shoulder into the living room, and he staring straight at the totally over sweet holiday craziness—hummel figurines, boughs of holly, sugar cookies—the works. Madge replies that the Meadowsweet is the finest smelling thing ever. Sam agrees with her and tells her that unfortunately, all the wreaths sold out before he got a chance to buy one.
Madge gives a ‘fudge’ of disappointment and Dean asks her if maybe she had another one around that she could sell. Madge tells him that those were the only ones she made this season and Dean inquires as to why she decided to use Meadowsweet in the wreaths.
Madge replies that it’s the smell of course. She doesn’t think she’s ever smelled anything finer. Sam looks to Dean, cause that’s kind of a Stepford moment on replay, and mutters that yeah, Madge mentioned that.
A voice from inside calls out asking what’s going on. It’s Edward Carrigan, who soon appears at his wife’s side, he’s wearing a cardigan sweater, wood pipe in hand. Again, he looks all kind of Cleaver, but that unnatural smile is plastered on his face as well.
Madge tells her husband that its just some nice boys asking about her wreaths. Edward replies that the wreaths are fine, very fine wreaths, and then brings out a tin full of Christmas candy. He asks the boys if they want some peanut brittle, and Sam and Dean stand their exchanging weirded out looks.
Sam tells the man that they are good, and Edward gives a Merry Christmas in return, which Sam echoes.
Int. Motel Room—Day
Dean’s sitting on his bed, sharpening a pile of evergreen stakes with his hunting knife. Sam’s typing away at the laptop, only to break their workful silence by telling Dean he knew something was way off with the Carrigans. Dean asks what Sam found out and little brother tells him that the Carrigans lived in Seattle last year where two abductions took place around Christmas time. Also, the couple moved into town in January and all the Christmas stuff at their house wasn’t boughs of holly---it was Vervain and Mint.
Dean instantly recognizes the names as Pagan stuff and Sam chimes in that its serious Pagan stuff to boot. Dean half-jokes that Ozzy and Harriet are keeping the Pagan god under the plastic covered couch and Sam states that all he knows is they have to really start checking the couple out, then double checks his facts with Dean over Bobby’s advice to use Evergreen stakes to kill the thing.
Int. Carrigan House—Kitchen—Night
Sam and Dean stir awake to the tune of Bing Crosby on the radio. They are bound to chairs at the farm table of the Carrigan’s. The table is decorated with a mash of pagan ritual objects, along side numerous Christmas goodies. Pagan alter meets religious holiday….nice.
Angry whispers can be heard from the other room as Dean raises his head. Sam asks if his brother is okay, and Dean states that he thinks he is. Sam shoots back that he guesses it must be Mr and Mrs God, and ain’t that good to know.
The whispers stop and footsteps approach, until suddenly Madge and Edward are looming over the boys. Madge has on her pearls and blinking Rudolf pin while Edward is sporting his snowflake sweater and smoking his beloved pipe, both have on their strained smiles.
Madge quips that she thought the lazy boys were going to sleep through the fun stuff, and Dean replies that they are partiers and wouldn’t miss all this. Edward shoots back that the boys are hunters to which Dean states that Edward is a pagan god, so its kind of a draw and they should just go their separate ways.
Edward says he doesn’t think so, they’d just bring back more hunters to kill them. Sam points out that Edward really should’ve thought about that before they went snacking on people to which Edward snaps that its his right.
Madge chimes in to inform the boys that they used to take in hundreds of tributes a year and now they only get two. Edward states that ‘hardy boys’ makes four and Madge repeats that really isn’t so bad. Dean tells them that if they insist on putting it that way—then the Carrigans are the Cunninghams.
Edward picks up a knife, tilting it toward Dean and tells the young man that he should show some respect. Sam taunts that all Edward could do was eat ‘em, and the Pagan god tells Sam not so fast, because there are rituals to be followed first.
Edward takes the knife and carves a line across Sam’s arm, catching the blood in a wooden bowl as Sam shouts out in pain. Dean yells his brother’s name, and calls Edward a sonofabitch commanding him to leave Sammy alone. Edward is not amused and asks his wife is she hears how these humans speak to them…to gods.
He turns to Dean and tells the hunter that they used to be worshipped by millions to which Dean replies that times change and calls the god a has been. Edward admits Dean is right about that, because all of a sudden they became monsters and altars were burned and they became the hunted by people like the Winchesters.
Madge interjects that they never once complained. They assimilated, kept a low profile—got some bills, a mortgage, learned to play bridge. She takes the knife from her husband, cheerily stating that now, they are just like everybody else.
Madge grabs Dean’s arm, telling him that it might pinch a bit, before carving into Dean’s arm with the knife and catching the dripping blood into the same wooden bowl. Dean calls her a bitch and Madge tells him he owes a nickel to the swear jar because of it. She leans in close to Dean’s ear, like a mom offering a kid advice as she tells him that when she feels like swearing she chooses to say Fudge. Dean snipes that he’s gonna try to remember that.
Edward pulls a pair of nasty looking pliers from his pocket and states that the boys have no idea how lucky they are. Back in the day kids would line up to be sitting where they are now. He inspects Sam’s fingers one by one while Sam eyes those pliers and asks what exactly is good old Pagan Ed going to do with those.
Dean would probably chew Edward out, if it weren’t for Madge taking hold of his other arm. Dean threatens her saying he swears to ‘his’ god that if she fudging touches him again he will fudging kill her dead. Madge gives him a praise for not out right cussing---right before she digs the knife deep into Dean’s other arm.
Big brother rips out a scream, riveling Sam’s own as Edward rips off one of his fingernails with a savage pull.
Edward studies the fingernail appreciatively before dumping it into the bowl. Madge asks what else they need and Edward reiterates the list…fingernails, blood….then can’t believe they forgot about the tooth.
Sam and Dean look at each other like are you F-ing kidding me here? And Madge takes the pliers, and narrows her eyes at Dean. Big brother turns to Sam and damn they are both in pain—bad. Dean grimly asks his bro if he’s having a good Christmas.
Sam weakly shrugs as Madge pins Dean’s head down, and sticks the pliers in his mouth, clamping down on a molar when…the doorbell rings *and can I just say thank the saints, because really just the idea of them messing up that gorgeous smile is WRONG! You hear me Kripke! WRONG! Okays I digress….*
Madge and Edward freeze at the sound and Dean looks wildly at the front door, asking with a mouth full of pliers if somebody is gonna get that. The Carrigans exchange glances—the person will go away but the doorbell rings again.